I need the paddles

My poor heart.

I know I am to blame.

I know its me who needs to get the paddles.

I know its me who needs to make the step.

I know it was my fault to start with...ignoring convictions.

The start to it all......I thought I knew everything. Ask my dear patient father who saw it all coming....tried his best to warn me....and now tries not to interfere and say "I told you so".

I love you all who have been so patient in listening to repetition. I am not looking for your "It'll be okeys...or don't worries....I am just thanking you.